I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
