I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize