Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
