yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
