Sponge bath it is.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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