Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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