I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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