better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
