He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
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Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
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Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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