So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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