I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i already hear my dad disowning me
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
nutella sex= disaster
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
