if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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