I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
