belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize