you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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