i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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