Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
