i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.