I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's never too late to be topless.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina