Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.