I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.