Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"