I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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