According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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