Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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