And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
