I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
