Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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