We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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