We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
