My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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