I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
