I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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