well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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