btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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