i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
