My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
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if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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