i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
