You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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