I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
