smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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