OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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