Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
