How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Couch. On fire.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize