I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
