Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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