Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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