I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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