I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
