i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
