Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
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Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.