let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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