Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
