hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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