You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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