Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
