Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
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