I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
