that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I love you.
Bad choice
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