Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
