Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize