This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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