'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
